DON'T WANNA SEE THE DAY

So it came across my mind, i don't want to see you go, I don't want to see us apart, I don't want us to end. All my past relationships have ended up a disaster, they have all failed, and I really don't want us to be just like that. I fear for that, because already, I have revolved myself around you, already I have given myself to you, mind, body, soul, and my whole heart, and I think if this day were to come I think I wouldn't be able to survive. I've planned it all out, laid out my future, and if something were to come in between that and not let it happen I don't know how I would handle it, or how I could be able to pick myself up from that, because I know I will fall, fall harder than I did before. After ten years.. what would happen if you weren't in the picture? How would my life be? Who would I be with? Would my mom be ok with this new person? Will I have a new person? I don't want one, I want you. I want the future I hoped for with you, and I'm scared that it won't happen. I'm not having doubts, I think I'm just so scared to lose you and I'm just so scared on how my life would turn out in the end if you weren't there, because I see such a good future with you, and I want that for myself. I'm not being selfish, I want you. I've never talked about future plans, like marriage, kids, ten year marks etc because I've always believed that you have to live the relationship day by day because you never know what will happen between the two of you, and maybe because I was so scared to get hurt and disappointed that It won't happen. But here I am, making these plans, and giving myself hope, and putting my worries aside,here I am believing we will make it, because for some reason something in my heart and mind is telling me that we will. I don't live with this relationship day by day, I live for the future now. I don't want you to go, so please stay with me, forever?