Confused like a muthafucka

Somebody help me. I just need a sign telling me what to do. Is it wrong to keep you on the line? Is this being selfish? That even if I don't feel the way you feel about me I still want you on the side just in case I do somehow change my mind..I know it's unfair for you but I can't jump into things without knowing for sure. I guess that's my bad, for rushing it with you thinking it would grow JUST LIKE THAT.. but it didn't. I think i'm afraid.. no, terrified of what others are gonna think and feel about this. I think that's the only reason that's stopping me from being with you. Actually I know that's the only reason that's stopping me. You're not the guy everyone sees me to be with and that's what scares me. You're not the one they want for me. But, what do I want for myself? I seem to be caring too much about what others feel then my own. My head is too jumbled up inside. A part of me wants to try to be with you and see how it will work out and all my other parts just want to stay the way it is.. but I know that can't happen because I can't just make you wait because it IS like chasing pavements..and that's unfair. I know you won't hurt me, Everything in me says and knows you wont hurt me.. so what's stopping me? Pride. I just need to let go. Give me time to think things through. Maybe I'll see things clearer and see what I might be missing if I give you up and see what I could be with you by my side. Time. Give me time. I just don't want to be the one to hurt you.