Stuck in between.. So, I thought and thought about it..like really thought about it and I was beginning to consider it already. It was funny, cus after you confronted me about not caring that's when I actually started to care..yeah, I know that's horrible of me but you know..its not really the first thing that comes to mind..or should I say you're not really the first thing that comes to my mind. Well, last night I started to think about all the pieces and trying to fit the whole puzzle together and I gave it a pretty good effort..and then it hit me. MAYBE.. It could work. Look at them..she had no feelings at all for him and it just grew on her and look at them now, they're inseperable. So I kept thinking about it even more.. Maybe they were wrong. Maybe you're not the type to do that to me, that you're just like that now cus you can but if you were with me you'd be loyal and true and stick to ur word like you've been telling me all this time and that I SHOULD believe you and I'm just being too careful.too untrustworthy..just too much. But all I keep seeing and hearing everytime you say something is lies and bullshit..that's what you are to me. Give me a reason, give me a sign, give me some proof that I can know that I can trust you fully and openly..I almost was going to. Until today. Until I heard. I'm not jealous..god no. And I'm not selfish at all..its not that I want you all to myself its that I just don't want you to be hers. Does that make sense? Even if I don't like you the way you want me to atleast I can rest assured that I still got you..k, maybe it does sound pretty damn selfish but it makes sense to me. I'd rather you not have her.. Just to settle.

Honestly I was thinking about giving "us" a chance.. Ahaha "us"? Well..I was thinking of that word today. I planned my approach and everything and how I wanted to try it out with you and see where it leads to but now...I don't even know anymore. Because as I can see it, I can't trust you even more. its stupid that I'm more mad at her than you..but she irritates me now. Just because I don't want her to have my leftover..ugh

I'm so confused.